Thinking Traps

Thinking only of possible outcomes at either extreme (really good or really bad) and not seeing all the possible outcomes in-between (or the “grey”). Most of life is somewhere in the middle.

• One friend gets angry at you » “Nobody likes me, I’m totally unlovable and selfish.”
• Presentation at school » “I’m going to either ace the performance or totally flop.”

Imagining the worst-case scenario, no matter how unlikely.

• Getting one bad grade » “I won’t get into university and I’ll end up homeless.”

Exaggerating the likelihood that something bad will happen.

• “If I have a panic attack, I’m going to have a heart attack and die!”

Believing you can predict the future. But you can’t because you don’t have a crystal ball.

• “No one is going to talk to me at the party.”

Making sweeping judgments about ourselves (or others) based on 1-2 experiences. These thoughts typically contain the words “always” and “never.”

• One friend gets upset at you » “I always screw up friendships. I have no real friends.”
• Missing one soccer goal » “I never get things right.”

Believing you know what others are thinking (and assuming it’s negative), without any real evidence. The problem: you can’t read minds, so stop trying.

• “I know they are talking about me right now. They are thinking about how weird I look.”
• “Everyone is wondering what I’m doing at this party.”

Focusing only on the negative without seeing any of the positive or what is going well.

• Thinking about the one awkward conversation you had at the party, rather than the three great conversations you had.